I’m Not That Person

I wonder if we really see each other. It’s embarrassing that many a husband doesn’t know his wife’s eye color. Wives and husbands often can’t nearly tell you their mate’s exact height or weight.

Due to recent incidents in the news, we’ve discovered that, if a person is a different race from you, often you don’t see them as very distinguishable from someone else of that race.

How well do you do when you describe someone of another race or nationality?

As a writer of fiction, I try to give my readers enough of a description of a main character that they can see them in their mind's eye. I tell height, slimness or pudginess, and hair color sometimes more. If my character is from Korea, I don't just say "Oriental," since a person from China or Japan and one from Korea are noticeably different. I know as a reader I am greatly distracted when the author later reveals a physical feature that I already have in my mind in another way.

What if you had to pick someone out of a police lineup?

Is someone just "black" to you, or is he medium height with milk chocolate skin tone and nearly straight hair? Can you describe the store owner in your town that was born in India well enough to differentiate between he and his brother? Is a woman just " white," or is she pasty white or maybe rosy-skinned or deeply tanned?

If we're going to build friendship bridges between culture groups, we've got to start by seeing each other better. I'm a unique, strange, and wonderful individual. So are you.